hadn't actually. we stopped at a garage where we bought a map and a nice man gave us directions to our hotel that were very simple. the road went right down the rideau canal and when we saw people skating we went bananas with excitement skated on the Rideau Canal, stumbled opon an ice skating show where young skaters in tights did all kinds of twirls and jumps and some skaters carried long staves with ornate grotesque heads on the end. we couldn't believe the little 5 year olds zipping around the canal like flies and some parents were pushing strollers at 20kph. there were places every kilometer where you could buy coffee, cinnimon muffins, and hot chocolate and flat stumps on the side of the canal here and there that you could sit on if you got tired which we did several times (jodi only fell twice and that was just before we got off the ice). we went about 6 kilometers all together and our feet hated us. there was an airplane that circled with a marque on its belly that advertised beer among other things. saw ice and snow sculptures, some that were half melted and consequently not quite what the artist had intended. there was a windmill, a toilet, arctic animals on cellular phones, dancing toast and a fish humaning, among other things. saw a huge inflatable bear Beam Hill Poems vol. 2 with skates and a drunken guy giving an improptu show. there was a truck towing portable light that was extremely bright and was at least a hundred feet in the air when fully extended. had a drink at the ELEPHANT & CASTLE where we let our feet get mellow and talked about life. jodi got a free mug with her baileys and cocoa. I got a fuzzy navel which is something I wanted to do this year because I'd never had one. hung out in the Rideau Centre where I bought 2 CDs and skate guards so I wouldn't slice passers by. the place was huge and the ATM there took our card so we didn't need to find a bank to get canadian money. we bought some canadian candy bars which we always saw ads for on TV but couldn't get in the states: AERO and COFFEE CRISP (which doesn't really have coffee in it). we probably ate 6 or 7 candy bars. went to the National Art Centre and saw Van Gogh, Monet, Picasso and got a tour from a nice, knowledgable, and eccentric woman. we also saw "the ravages of war" with art by a guy named "dix" that was really sick. there was also this room that was completely dark except for a weird device in the middle and 8 speakers that made you think you were spinning around. there was a painting with words on it that you couldn't read until you got real close. a guy who works there saw my shirt (it had "dundee NY" on it) and he was originally from the area and we talked about what a small world it was. we couldn't believe admission was free so we left a donation. went to Museum of Civilization and saw innuit history with tall totem poles and watched a movie filmed in OMNIMAX with footage of the earth from outer space. a woman was breastfeeding. the cafeteria was loud and the food was cafeteria-like. we couldn't believe the prices of the innuit art they were selling. stayed in Hull where they speak nothing but French and our feet hurt after we walked across the Alexadria Bridge 3 times because we couln't figure out how to use the buses. if you stared at the wooden planks for very long you could actually hallucinate a little the wind was very cold. ate at a cool italian restaurant where they serve homemade bread and light candles that melt all over the bottle their stuck in. there was authentic italian music in stereo and colorful panoramic wall art that made you feel like you were on a balcony at a restaurant in italy. red ranger the waiter gave us all kinds of info on exploring Ottawa. we gave him a big tip. met natalie and luc the hotel attendants, the happy hot dog man (who gave us directions) and red ranger the waiter. gave out change to a few people down on their luck and very cold looking. one guy was not getting along with his wife 'cause thats what he said was why he wanted some money. we missed the fireworks because we were too exhausted to lift our heads and look out the window. we had to flip a coin to see who would go down and get ice and change for the soda machine (I lost). we walked to the parliament building (which was getting a facelift and has these weird looking stone creatures poking out from each corner of the top of the tower) but we didn't go on a tour 'cause we didn't have time. there was a fountain that had flames coming out of the water and we threw a quarter in after saying something which I forgot. on the way there we walked by the photography museum but didn't go in 'cause there wasn't enough time and it probably wasn't open anyway. there were innuit at the parliament buildings handing out flyers that announced their opposition to something but I think I lost the flyer so I don't know what it was they were opposed to. we were so impressed by Ottawa in general that we actually kicked around moving there so I bought Traveling and Other Luxuries an Ottawa citizen and looked through the classifieds to see how the computer job market was. some of the cartoons in the funnies section were repeated twice but not in color. the hotel elevator had some kind of oozy snot or other similar substance smeared on the mirror so I told the front desk and they were surprised but they cleaned it up 'cause it wasn't there the next day. I think the young boys down the hall might have done it 'cause they were noisy the night before and the hotel staff yelled at them a few times to keep it down or they would kick them out. we wanted to go into the bar in the hotel and have a drink and talk but you had to wear a suit which both jodi and I agreed was silly. so instead we bought some french sparkling wine at a store nearby which wasn't bad (the wine, that is) and we also bought some imported doritos which were actually better than american doritos. several times we walked by the chateau laurier which is this huge castle-like hotel where senators, politicians, and very rich people stay. we wondered what the rooms looked like inside. we went to the byward market which is near the center of town and is where there are many small shops and restaurants and they sell fresh produce in the summer. we stopped at a toy shop and jodi saw a dog which I thought looked like benji but she thought was a toy until it moved and she emit a high pitched sound when she realized it wasn't a toy and then we pet it. they had lots of squeaky toys which I squeaked and helmets of various sorts which didn't fit me very well because I have such a big head. we got take out from st. hubert barbeque and they delivered right to our hotel room (we would have walked but we didn't realize how close the restaurant was until we looked out the window at night and saw the glowing yellow chicken poking up above

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Copyright ©1993 by Darin D. LaGarry